That time of year...

It's that time of the year when I always get depressed. No, it's not my ancient birthday or anything like that. It's the time of year between Thanksgiving and Christmas when I always seem to be more broke than usual and never seem to feel like shopping for presents even when I've got the money. The older I get, the worse it gets. It seems that I hate Christmas and don't know why. Christmas is a time for children and mine are grown and I've only 1 grandchild so I don't feel like celebrating and am not looking forward to it like I always used to. Maybe it's me being alone and not looking forward to celebrating NYE again...who knows? I miss lots of people that I've known during my life at this time of year and I wonder what's happened to some of them...whether they're dead or alive. I like to think that most are alive, just lost somewhere for me to never find again. Today is also a friends birthday and also my grandson's birthday and it makes me wish that I was young again and had everything to do over again knowing what I do now. I realize that my whole life would be completely different. Maybe someday I'll get a second chance...